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| Mark Mulligan/ The Herald
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| Paris Loutsis, 22, with her 2-year-old son, Kyden. |
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Published: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Life as a teen mom is hard work, no glamour
By Julie Muhlstein Herald Columnist
Jamie Lynn Spears, 17-year-old kid sister of Britney Spears, is the current cover girl on OK! magazine, along with her 3-week-old daughter, Maddie Briann.
Quoting from the magazine last week, Reuters news service published these thoughts on new motherhood from the "Zoey 101" TV actress: "It is so much fun. I just want to hug her and kiss her, and I'm happy all the time."
I'm not about to question anyone's happiness. Moms learn quickly enough that the world's most important job -- parenting -- is also the hardest.
Meet Paris Loutsis, a young mother whose life is nothing like the celebrity-driven world of glossy magazines and the Spears sisters.
As popular culture shines a light on teen pregnancy -- the hit film "Juno" and the new ABC Family TV series "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" both center around a pregnant high school girl -- Loutsis knows what it's like in real life.
"It is really hard," said Loutsis, 22, mother of a 2-year-old son, Kyden. "The average teen mom is starting from ground zero. Some may look at being a teen mom as glamorous -- cute little baby, cute little clothes. That gets old real fast."
Loutsis was recently the student speaker at Edmonds Community College's commencement. The Snohomish County woman earned an associate of technical arts degree in early childhood education. She works full time as assistant director at Early Learning and Development Center, a Lynnwood preschool and child care center.
On her own, she pays rent for the apartment she and Kyden share, buys their groceries and covers all expenses. Her graduation speech was a testament to the obstacles Loutsis faced even before discovering she was pregnant at 19.
"As a foster teen, I stayed in nine different foster homes and a number of teen shelters," Loutsis told EdCC graduates June 20. On her own at 18, she said she couch-surfed with friends after leaving the foster care system.
Loutsis earned a high school diploma while pregnant. The realization that she'd soon be responsible for a child drove her to go on to college. Between classes, Loutsis worked as a receptionist in EdCC's counseling office, at a day care, and as a housecleaner.
"If a teen mom wants to make it in life, she needs to go to school," she said.
She's bothered by recent news, including last month's reports about an alleged pregnancy pact in Gloucester, Mass. On Time magazine's Web site, Gloucester High School Principal Joseph Sullivan was quoted as saying that seven or eight sophomore girls "made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together."
"It's starting to be, like, the cool thing to do," Loutsis said. She has no problem with the pop-culture acknowledgment that teen pregnancies happen, but Loutsis believes young mothers' lives aren't accurately portrayed.
Back in middle school, she imagined how she'd celebrate her 21st birthday. When that day came, there were no wild parties or carefree celebrations.
"I lost a lot of friends," Loutsis said. "You have to get a baby-sitter, you can't be spontaneous anymore. Looking at a new pair of shoes in a store, you know you have to buy diapers."
As a public health nurse working in the Snohomish Health District's Nurse-Family Partnership, Gina Veloni doesn't see much glamour in teen pregnancy.
"These are really challenging times for everyone, especially for first-time young parents," said Veloni. She sees girls as young as 13 being helped by the Nurse-Family Partnership, which pairs nurses with expectant and new mothers, age 21 and younger.
Through home visits that begin before birth, the aims are healthy pregnancies and babies, support and education for moms, and proper development for young children.
The program, which now serves 135* girls and young women, targets a higher-risk population. "We see poverty and drug and alcohol abuse. We have homeless families. Some live with their families. It's a diverse population," Veloni said. "In an open-minded way, we support this young mom, where she's at, not knowing where she's been."
For Loutsis, where she's been was rarely easy.
While she studied for finals in January, her son came down with a fever, an eye infection and asthma. "Glamorous? No," she said.
Teen pregnancy is no cover-girl ideal. For Loutsis, the best plan was to focus on the future.
"Figure out how you're going to deal with it in the most independent way," she said. "Get your education, that's my biggest thing."
It's not just her future. It's Kyden's too.
"I wanted him to have a good life," Loutsis said.
Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlstein@heraldnet.com.
Program helps young mothers
The Snohomish Health District's Nurse-Family Partnership offers support for expectant and new first-time mothers age 21 and younger. Participants are visited by public health nurses during pregnancy and until babies are 2 years old. Information: 425-339-8681.
*Correction, July 14, 2008: This article originally misstated the number of teens and young women being served by the Snohomish Health District’s Nurse-Family Partnership.
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