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Welcome to Snohomish County Business Journal. We are a local independent paper, reporting on local news that the big newspapers won’t touch. We have freelance writers from all across America who contribute to the content of this newspaper. If you have a story that you’d like us to feature, please use the “contact us” page to get in touch with us. We are only interested in “soft” news. Or if your Uncle Bob wins an award for “salesman of the year”, let us know and we will be more than glad to share the news with the internet.

Until we get more freelance writers on board this newspaper, we’re just going to monitor that one news service….I forget the name. API? That one thingy where newspapers get their news from. Anyways, we will be selectively pulling stories from that in order to get things moving along here.

So far the stories we have pulled from (I think they’re the “Associated Press” it’s like a news wire or something) are:

Bo Dietl
Michael Libow
Joseph Schnaier New York
Stuart Millheiser

The reason we’re listing those here, instead of the sidebar, is because we can’t figure out how to get the sidebar to display “recent posts”. The guy in India we hired to help us design this site doesn’t speak very good English, so we’re working with what we got here. We have a job opening, if you speak the Indian language, and you don’t eat that smelly food, you can come hang out with us in Tony’s moms garage. Because that’s where our offices are located. If you get a 2nd hand contact high from all the pot we totally don’t smoke while working….we’re going to have to dock your pay for the amount of weed that you inhaled while on the job.

I’m sure the original owners of Snohomish County Business Journal are fuming that a bunch of amateurs like us bought their old website and are in the process of turning in into a farce of a newspaper. Actually, I hope they are. The “news” outlets in America are a complete and total joke. So I guess you could call us a “satirical newspaper”….but we will be posting totally true stories.

Also, if my 12th grade English teacher is still alive, I want to send that old hag a link to this website to show her I DID amount to something in my life. I own a newspaper. What does she own, besides a carton of adult diapers and geriatric pills?